Lost Notes

24/06/08
If I could bring back the time,
sana you should have just stick in your intention before,
that you would not love me,
that I would be just like another woman.
Sana, we wouldn't have dreamt of being together
and having a family of our own.
Sana, you didn't care for me or love me.
Sana I did not have this hope to be with you.
Sana, everything wasn't true.
Maybe you could not hurt me this much
and I will not care even if you leave.
But that is not the case.
I hope and believe you.
Until when you would have the courage to make us a reality.
....
....
....
Maybe I was right, that you just don't realize it,
that you already gave up even before you left.
that you only feel sorry for me.
Ang sakit sakit lang eh.
Because I love you so much.
I love you so much.
But I don't think you will allow us to be part of you
....
....
....

It was the best of times...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way." Charles Dickens.

Something Stupid...

Room Cleaning

Came across some memorabilia that was well kept. It was not forgotten.

H of H 2

So much of a coincident? Wondering out loud...

Horroscope of Horror

Buffet Business Plan

Step 1: Put together a buffet restaurant business plan.
Your buffet restaurant business plan should be comprised of at least 3 smaller plans. Your first plan should cover your business set-up. In this plan include important concerns like buffet business licenses. You might want to visit your local city hall for restaurant legal permits and you might want to call the Department of Health for food regulation guidelines. Your second plan should cover your restaurant management system. In this particular plan add details like restaurant opening hours, staff turn over and job requirements, restaurant rules and policies and pricing system. On your third plan, it should cover how to attract buffet clients. After your grand opening date, what will you do next? Do you want to use membership promos; early bird discount incentives or maybe use personalized give a way like buttons or calendars?

Step 2: Get financing and find a location.
Start up cost for a buffet restaurant business depends mostly on your licenses, location and establishment remodeling needs. First determine how you will finance these expenditures. Will you take a bank loan? Will you self finance it? Do you know someone who can finance it for you? Once you have identified a solution to financing, determine next where to start your buffet restaurant business. Talk with a real estate agent for possible locations for your establishment. Then hire an architect to help you design it then hire a contractor who can efficiently do a clean job on the physical aspects of your buffet restaurant.

Step 3: Have a delicious and attractive line of menu.
Variety in food attracts a variety of people. Hire chefs who can cook a variety of American cuisine, Spanish style or Mexican style menu, Japanese food and maybe a few picked specialty dishes. Different tastes attract a lot of buffet clients. Another idea that will separate you from other buffet business competitors is of how fast your crew refills the food on each food station and the manner they present it. Buffet clients love quick quality food service. And also make sure that all the food area is clean. Food stations will be swarmed by people who will refill their plates so expect food on the floor, counters, a lot of dishes with leftovers and a busy washroom area.

Step 4: Make records.
Know your restaurant numbers. Know your peak business hours, profit per client, and utility cost per customer. Record and monitor your inventory flow. Know the strengths and weaknesses of your buffet restaurant plan by the numbers you measure.

I Know Him SO Well

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me From wanting far too much for far too long
Looking back, I could have done it differently Won a few more moments, who can tell?
But it took time to understand the man Now at least I know, I know him well

Wasn't it good, Wasn't it fine Isn't it madness he can't be mine
But in the end, he needs a little more than before
Security, he needs his fantasy and freedom I know him so well

No one in your life is with you constantly No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him Still the gap between us is too wide
Looking back, I could have played it differently Learned about the man before I fell
But I was ever so much younger then But now at least I know him well

Wasn't it good (oh so good), Wasn't it fine (so fine)
Isn't it madness he can't be mine

Didn't I know how it would go
If I knew from the start Why am I falling apart

Wasn't it fine Isn't it madness he can't be mine
But in the end, he needs a little more than before
Security, he needs his fantasy and freedom I know him so well
It took some to understand him Hoo ooh I know him so well

Informal High School Reunion

We had an informal high school reunion last night.
Actually it was almost the same buddies who had been keeping in touch since ie - Weng, Man Bola, Zaini Zainal, Amir, Max, Waltzco, Ramadan and the few, but this time around the invites went beyond this circle.
Not expecting much fun or fair for these types of gathering, I am really looking forward to meeting up with old buddies from the high school days. I would consider the 2 years with them in the boarding school was one of the highlights and the point when our future were shaped although not in its entirety.
The drive alone to the place was rather peacefully despite the area was rather notorious for night revellers. I reached there almost on the dot at 8:30 and luckily a car just pulled out from a spot opposite the restaurant. I made my way, not seeing many 'familiar faces' until i saw a long empty tables arranged conspicuously for 20 odd patrons. There's a tap on my shoulder as i walked past that group of tables, and behold Weng the organizer himself, chatting away on the hand phone giving directions to those still at lost.
We pick one end of the long table and before long, few more joined us - mostly the familiar faces. There were surprised laughter whenever a familiar face but not familiar figure made an entrance. Few unfamiliar faces that requires more jolts to the ageing memories but everyone took the next available seats without qualms. Notes began to be exchanged, firstly between the two who sat next to each other than across the table and before long, volleys of crosstalk began to fill the atmosphere. From time to time a few who would hold the group into stitches especially when friendly jabs were thrown to those who with regards to old flames and puppy loves. For a few hours, these 42 years old were like 17 again.
The best were always the last. Ahmad Radhi aka Pochong, the once 'notorious' kid that we all knew, and for a few years after our school years we were told of how lost he was when most of us were completing our colleges and universities finally came. He was a charming calm and contented man. Trying to recall our names each and everyone, trying to reconnect. I was a few lucky ones whom he recognized, well mainly due to my feminine namesake but he remembers those few troubled times during his many forced sequestered moments that we did talked about life, back then.
As nights wore thicker and midnight loomed closer, a more serious discussions took place and a resolution was made to make a formal reunion a reality this year, being the 25th years since 1984.
Pochong took helm upon request, to recite the closing prayers and we were not disspaointed but utterly touched and humbled by his choice of prayer recitals. Requesting us to say prayers to those whom has gone before us while we managed to meet up this time around. As I drove back home alone, in the calmness of an early midnight moment, reminiscing the same drives alone that I used to make where my inner resolved became stronger after each such reunions of the hearts..
I am recalling my earlier posts way back in 2006...

Always On My Mind

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

And maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your
Sweet love hasn't died
And give me
Give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied
Keep you satisfied

Little things I should have
Said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

How to make break-up really stick

Came across this article... with a grain of salt...read the feedback from the link...

Whether or not you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt. And they can be really hard to get over. If you listen to the wise words of Charlotte on Sex and the City, it takes half the time you were together to get over him. Here are a few more wise words to help make your next breakup a little easier.

Don't Talk to Him

The most crucial rule in breaking up is to not talk to the person you're breaking up with. Even if you think you can handle it and still get over the person, you can't. Don't kid yourself; feelings will get hurt. Take some time off, get over him, and maybe someday in the future you'll be friends. Until then, lick your wounds and recover any way you'd like; whether that be partying hard, staying in bed for days with pints of ice cream, or spending absurd amounts of money on clothes you don't need. No one will say a thing; we all heal in our own, weird ways.

Snap Out of It

Remember how things, like stupid songs and movies and that little spot in the park that you two went to on your first date used to be "yours"? Well, they're not anymore. Don't make a connection to platonic objects when there isn't one. Remind yourself that you like that spot in the park because of the good view, not because of anyone connected to it. There's no point losing more than you have to from a breakup, so don't get all sappy on yourself.

Reconnect with Your Friends

No matter how much you say you're not going to be that girl who gives up her friends for her boyfriend; everyone gives up a little of their time to spend with their guy. Well, now is the time to make it up to them (and, you could use the girl talk). So, go out and have fun; grab your best wing woman, and remember how much fun being single really is.

Take Some Time For Yourself

Amidst all of this trying not to talk to him, hanging out with friends, partying more and/or eating lots and lots of ice cream-you need to remember to sit back and actually work through your feelings. Understand why things went south, and why you're better off this way. And in no time you'll be back to your old self, and what's-his-name will be a thing of the past.

It's All About Rewards

And finally, do all of the little things that make you happy every day. Yep, being single means thinking about you, you, you. So, go and take that extra time after work and buy yourself that little ring you've been obsessing over. Or take a long walk and meet a friend for cupcakes because well, you can. Have fun spoiling yourself, because you deserve it after....wait, what? I'm forgetting already.

Friday...

Friday comes again without fail
I have been waiting
For Friday used to mean reconnection time
when we talk about the sun
when we fret about foods
when we share our dreams
where we gear our days next week
till next Friday
missing and longing
forever

Me and ...

...living a lifeless existence
...talk but seldom a discourse
...missing however never wanting
...appreciated then again not needed
...together and lonely
...friends but only accommodating
...bonds but separates
...intercourse but not making love
...touching but not intimate
...loving but not lovers

Plain Vanilla

This scribe in an open book - plain vanilla
All entries under scrutiny - good, bad, ugly and something in between
only those who are closest know the real meaning and intent
for that's all from my thoughts and feelings in unbridled expression
both of you, yes both of you, as for the rest, they are just in transient
stumbled upon or googled too out of curiosity and never snoop by again
you either like it or hate it, but dare ever demand to stop (well, sorta...)
If you know the scribe, you know how he ticks, his needs, his inner self...
either you care or you don't, read for whatever its worth
a selfish presence, a hardened heart,
deceitful and untruth are easier, even in silence
For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true

Bystander Analogy

"A" is driving a car.
"C" is in the car.
"B" is a bystander by the roadside
with "B" are other 6 bystanders in tow.
According to "B", "A" and "C" are having problem in the car
Accidently, the car driven by "A" ploughed "B" and the other 6 bystanders.
Both "A" and "C" despite badly shaken, are still very much alive
But "B" and the bystanders were deeply hurt physically and scarred emotionally.
"B" and the bystanders, whom are innocent and happened to be in "A" and "C" 's way didn't deserved all that is happening to them.
= as conveyed during theraphy

Mutual Understanding

Things to know of those who have MU relationship - mutual understanding
#1 Don't expect too much. There is no commitment between both of you.
#2 You can get jealous and sulking. But you cannot get angry over it.
#3 You can date others, and don't need to let her/him know or obtain permission
#4 You can be sweet to him/her. You can still hug.
#5 If and when you learnt that he/she has a gf/bf already, you can cry and you can be hurt.
But you can't blame her/him because you dont have that right (refer #1)
-----
The above is sort of ground rules for MU relationship.
Sounds hollow and might lead to an emotionally wrecking experience.
Only for those who are not serious of a relationship and only looking for self gratification without commitment.

My Way

Disorder Ramblings

It came so suddenly, the calmness has been slowly tempered.
Anger crept in easily and the rage within unconfined
Beginning to lost some kind of bearing in life,
the anchor that was solidly embedded, has began to drag sway
Please God.....
Desperate for the reach, knowing it will be ignored, again and again
Being shamed among their friends and laughed at innocent instances
Never would be thought the humiliation is to be this cruel
finding that the true love declaration is a worthless,
readily discarded despite holding for so long
whats the meaning of the shines in the finger
for that's the one sign holding dear
till the moment facing the glint in the eyes
that the love is lost, not just kept away.
(stairwell stories)

Mencari Tenang

Kenapa tenang itu tak kunjung tiba?
Sedang aku sendiri-an me-merlu-kan
Riuh suasana alam tak ter-hirau hati
me-nyepi me-rawat luka-luka darah tak henti

Di-bawah sedar, di-tertawa-kan sang 'bencinta'
hina kira-nya men-cabar ke-tentu-an tak pasti
wajah wajah kembali kejam dulu ter-sua
namun di-harung demi rasa cinta tak ter-sahut

ada kala-nya ter-cungap meng-gapai se-hirup napas
koleh-koleh udara ber-gantung-an di jemala
sayang pada aqidah, pada fana, pada Tuhan
ber-sumpah pilu men-cecah gigi-gigi air Qanat Al Qasbah

Tuhan, tenang-kan-lah diri ini
men-cari ke-redha-an, men-cari maisara yang ber-ada

For All We Know

It Might Be You

Time...
I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life
Lying on the sand watching sea birds fly
Wishing there would be
Someone waiting home for me
Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you
All of my life

Looking back as lovers go walking past
All of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last
If I found the place
Would I recognize the face
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it might be you

So many quiet walks to take
So many dreams to make
And with so much love to make
I think we're gonna need some time
Maybe all we need is time...
And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you
And I'm feeling it'll just be you all of my life

The Look

"You have the same look in your face as few years back, when you are telling me of your intention take her as you wife..."

Nota Kaku

Sayang
Laungan kasih nan bisu, tak terimbau
Cahaya cinta di mata, kelam bersama masa-masa ketiduran mu
Berbicara pada hati, sepi tanpa kata
Sentuhan dingin, pada roma-roma jemari kaku

Lena ku nan sendiri, di sisi-sisi beradu
menghadap ruang-ruang kosong kelam
sepoi embunan pagi mencicah air-air genangan
dari kelopak teruris lantas menitis

Sepi
pada hati-hati yang kaku
menjauh resah
pada ikatan silam
terungkai pada simpulan akhir

(buat kekasih kekasih awal dan akhir)

Notes from September

Where should i begin? Notes in Bilingual...

6/9
Epilog...
tatkala diri sujud menunggu saat kematian hati...
menggapai dan menggarap pada sisi sisi masa
lopak lopak kering airmata terurai menitis di riba
pengakhiran janji dan cita pada dunia nan fana

7/9
pada tuhan kepasrahan terserlah alam
menyerah takdir pada insan insan sudi
melangkah bertongkatkan bekalan mimpi
menuruni tangga tangga kelam nan sepi
pada pintu kupohon dibukakan hati

8/9
doors to the stairwell is always close
safe and secure keeping miseries away
solitude for those who in need
in the arms of stillness for the hurt to heal

wake up from your dreams, to the sound of silence
finding a lost soul watching over you all this while
by the corner of the darkest steps
eminating coldness from the deepest corner of his heart

terjaga dari ketiduran leka, bersama bayu bayu dinihari
wajah wajah semalam muncul walau terlupa untuk kembali
hening suram pagi, panggillah aku pergi
meniti tangga tangga sepi, menuju sudut sudut kelam

10/9
salam pada dinihari, yang kini menjadi teman setia
berbicara pada ruang ruang kelam, meruntun, meronta sunyi
apakah ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku hanya untukNya?
moga aku tergolong dalam kumpulan insan insan fikrah

frozen moments passing bye, flashes of memories
as the steps nearing the landing, by the door that ajar
sleep well dearest lover, mother of my child
for the dawn to wake up still hasn't been near

Know Where to Stand

Know where to stand.
Whether to give chase,
when to stop and stay back or
turn away and take a walk.
Choose to pursue incessantly, one would distance further away
to be lost forever
Turn away and take a walk , and confirming the lost,
but forever be wondering and be damned.
Stop and stay back
Let it grow, help nurture whatever left
for if it was really meant to be, the love would return.

Stuck On You

Oh No

Picasa and GPS Pics

Parent's Home

My Home

I found a little trick within Picasa Picture Web Program. Well it also depends on whether your digital image capture device - dslr or handphone has in built GPS and activates prior to taking any pics. It seemed that the GPS info will be embedded with it and is you view it via Picasa and activate the map option, the place where the pic is taken will be marked on the map and we can zoom in to 50 meter radius. Cool. Imagine taking a pic of loved ones thousands of miles away and send it over and the receiver would feel much closer knowing the location of the pic.

Jangan Ada Dusta Antara Kita

No More Lies Between Us

Through The Barricades

Mother doesn't know where love has gone,
she says it must be youth that keeps us feeling strong.
See it in her face that's turned to ice,
and when she smiles she shows the lines of sacrifice.
And now I know what they're saying as our sun begins to fade,
and we made our love on wasteland and through the barricades.
Father made my history,
he fought for what he thought would set us somehow free.
He taught me what to say in school,
I learned it off by heart but now that's torn in two.
And now I know what they're saying in the music of the parade,
and we made our love on wasteland and through the barricades.
Born on different sides of life,
but we feel the same and feel all of this strife,
so come to me when I'm asleep
and we'll cross the line and dance upon the streets.
And now I know what they're saying as the drums begin to fade,
and we made our love on wasteland and through the barricades.
Oh, turn around and I'll be there,
well there's a scar right through my heart but I'll bare it again.
Oh, I thought we were the human race but we were just another borderline case,
and the stars reach down and tell us that there's always one escape.
Oh, I don't know where love has gone,
and in this troubled land desperation keeps us strong.
Friday's child is full of soul,
with nothing left to lose there's everything to go.
And now I know what they're saying,it's a terrible beauty we've made,
so we make our love on wasteland and through the barricades.
And now I know what they're saying as our hearts go to their graves,
and we made our love on wasteland and through the barricades.

Where Do Broken Hearts Go

Oooh
I know it's been some time
But there's something on my mind
You see, I haven't been the same
Since that cold November day
We said we needed space
But all we found was an empty place
And the only things I've learned
Is that I need you desperately
So here I am, and can you please tell me, oh
[chorus]
Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care for me, ooh
I've been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No, you just can't run away
And what we had was so much more
Than we ever had before
And no matter how I try
You're always on my mind
So here I am, and can you please tell me, oh
[chorus]
Now that I am here with you
I'll never let you go
I look into your eyes
And now I know
Now I know [2x], oh
[chorus 3x]
For me
You still care for me

Shania Twain - You're Still The One Lyrics

Shania Twain - You're Still The One Lyrics

Shared via AddThis

Anecdotes...

I thought of writing about my taxi driving days in June/July. I took it up mainly as an appendix to my income. However, it became an outlet for me to relieve my internal conflict stress. Need time being alone. driving along the night KL roads. Sharing empty words with total strangers. However my inner nature has struck up few new unexpected friendship along the way.
As I collect the thoughts these lonely nights, this morning radio conversation struck me. About writing diaries or blogs and why the need to do it....
I need to....
(i left the Tithe story on draft mode... today....)

Tithe Paid

Every year during ramadan, without fail muslims all over the world would perform the 4th pillar of the Islamic tenets that is paying the personal tithe (zakat). Besides the normal tithe in the form of income tax approximately 0.4% of total cumulative tangible wealth, personal tithe is a minor form of reliever to mark the completion of inner cleansing regime endured during the month of ramadan - the month of abstinence. Personal tithe is calculated by a corresponding value of minimum food for a month requirement in accordance to the locality standard.

The husband or father would be paying the tithe for the family. My tithe zakat receipt for this year has been taken. I paid for 9! Have been paying the tithe for 9 since 2007. the least that I am doing for my part. The tithe is due yearly before the Eid day. However this year was no different despite what had transpired, I am proud to say I went and fulfill my 'obligation' a day before the eve of eid. However I won't know whether I would still pay the tithe on your behalf next year but sincerely I prayed that I would InsyaAllah.

"Verily I am paying this year's zakat for myself and on behalf of those under my personal responsibility..." as I recited those 'doa' in front of an 'amil', faces of each of them went through my head, with love. May God bless you all and become a big happy family.

Gotta Get Thru This

If only I could get through this get through this

I just, I just said, I just, said..

I gotta get through this I gotta get through this

I gotta make, gotta make it, gotta make it through

Said I'm gotta get through this I'm gotta get through this

I gotta take, gotta take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart

Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

When your love is pouring like the rain I close my eyes and it's gone again

When will I get the chance to say I love you I pretend that you're already mine

Then my heart keeps breaking every time I look into your eyes

Forever

Wojciechowski: Favre gets revenge, or something lik

Wojciechowski: Favre gets revenge, or something lik

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Morning Breath

I need to break away from this vicious life roundabout.
I need to go away, far away.
God give me strength and .....

the call

Had a long tele-conversation with an old friend. I am just lending the ear and thoughts. Seemed that she is having a mid life crisis (who else don't? lol) Seen her postings lately and noticed the nuances that shows depression taking place. I know the feeling of helplessness and despairs taking place and if not handled properly, it would lead to un-desirous tendencies. I was there and have not gotten out of it myself but I would not bear seeing any of my friends being in this deepest abyss as mine is experiencing.
Initially I was only trying to cheer her up via the postings but her response was that of a need to find an outlet. I wasn't thinking about it much today but late evening I received a message from her asking whether it is alright to talk now. I was lucky that I am already on the way home, so short detour to the nearest mall and find myself a corner table by the Starbucks, with a cappuccino latte and Greek salad.
The call came exactly 14 minutes later as promised.Its been so long since I talked to any of them, (6 or 7 years maybe?) so a nice pleasantries were due. To accommodate her, I answered few questions. Answered all of them honestly and truthfully (yes - all of them including the row i had in explaining her cheek to cheek pics with her hubby that someone mistakenly identified as me!) and including why the 'complicated status'. Later, an hour or so of shifting perspectives, alternative standpoints, chiding, scoldings, smirking, counter opinions and mindless talks, the call ended.
I realised, the call was not really about finding solutions or taking sides, but merely an outlet of releasing pent up feelings. Guessed, the decisions and way forwards for them has been playing on both of their minds and whatever is going to happen, i wish them both happy.I am glad that someone is already on her/his way out of the deep abyss of soul less existence.
Its a free service for a friend.

Note to God

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak what's in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
and for peace to mend this world
I'd say
I'd say
I'd say
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find a way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness
in our hearts
I'd say
I'd say
I'd say
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
No
No
We can't do it on our own
So
So
(Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue)
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
No
No
(No) We can't do it on our own
(So)
So
If I wrote a note to God

Subuh

Not a very good morning. Eli was down with flu and slight fever. And knowing how difficult she is with meds, I have to cajole her to take in diluted pcm. It didn't stop her from a noctambulating nights though. All the while, the laptop was on standby mode. Ohh by the way, I have the laptop by the bedside nowadays. No longer the need to go down to the living room in the wee hours. My new bedmate since the 'ber' months.
Right at this moment, I am feeling calmness embracing me. As I reach out for the hp and scroll to that faraway number, wanting to make a call, just to hear a voice that's been sorely missed. But my thoughts got the better of me. I might be of a nuisance and disturbance to the happiness.
Anyway, an old acquaintance requires some help yesterday. Maybe it will do me good by offering my ears (and only my ears and thoughts!) for it might take away some of my pain inside.

Winding Down

Dear Maisara,
I have to wind down today. Feeling heavy on my 'ass' from getting off the bed. Admittedly, I was awake all night after midnight. Having nothing else to do besides sleeping on the edge side of the bed (as usual), rather than keeping my mind wandering and wondering, I went online. There's tinge of hope but I began to accept it that it was going to be another lonely nights.
Anyway, morning comes and cleaning up was due. Its was really a hectic day yesterday.
I was lucky to have made preparation as soon as I gotten home. Jump right to the kitchen and use up all the ingredients, cleaning the chicken and lamb and prepare for the marination. Little that I knew then, it was the least decision made that had saved my cooking.
Later that night I was called up b the client for an ad hoc meeting to discuss potential life saving design decision for the project. The meeting was set the next morning at 9am.
So there I was, driving to work when my mind was already in 'cooking mode'.
The meeting went terribly slow and full of technicalities. The engineers keep putting in figures of disputes while the client keep punching the calculators away. In the end, I have to lay out the way-forward. Push down all that was said in writing and show the bottom line numbers for all the options. Statused them in favorite order and let the client sleep on it on the weekend.
Off I went back home because the barbecue was waiting to be grilled.
Made home slightly after noon, and the slight drizzle calmed me down.
The event went well, streams of kids came and went, doing pick-up and drop off for the faraway kids, and the same time have to sit down try to remember them names and to which kids they are friends too. The take of the day was when, Nunui picked up her new college roommates from the hostel to attend the party. The house was packed full but the atmosphere seemed worth it.
Somehow, a few times, I found myself drifted alone to a faraway place that I really wished to be.

Passport Renewed

I took time off in the afternoon to go and have my International Passport renewed today. A full 2 hours for another 5 years extension. RM300! I assumed the procedure was going to be simpler, since its only a renewal. I was only half right. I wasn't told to bring in 2 passport photographs. I have many of those in my office drawer. The officer just give me a non-chalant look and pointed out that there is a quick photo kiosk outside. Scam! The thought went through my my as I lined up for a 'not so quick' photo in the 'unfriendly kiosk, trying to make myself presentable.
To make matter worst, as I returned to the counter with the photo, my ID card wasn't able to be read by the chip scanner. But a school eraser did the trick. A few hard scrub on the chip surface, returned the shine on the touch plates and a few frantic attempt later, I was asked to scan in my thumb.
But since it was getting late, I was asked to return next week to collect the renewed passport.
Guess what I found hidden in my wallet as I was about to slip in the extra quick photos?

Sana

Despite all the activities surrounding him, his heart remains empty.
Longing for the touch that has long been inside him.
His soul less eyes, always looking behind his shoulders,wondring if the soft tap, or the silent whispers will ever be his again.
Missing the lovely husky voice in the wee hours of the morning, half asleep, half dreaming
"come back?.." as he call out
Why has he been this way since....?
As much as he tries, the feeling keeps coming back stronger
He is at lost, but at the same time more determined.
His recourse is one of a prayer.
Sana

Short Laugh

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East (Dubai)
assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in Dubai, I was very confident
that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But,
I had a problem; I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the
message through 3 posters. First poster: a man crawling through the hot
desert sand, totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our
Cola and third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were
pasted all over the place."
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't
realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

Job Interviews

Desireble Qualities:
Experience in Design, Contract Work and Planning Procedures
Problem Solving Skills
Enthusiasm, Committed and Determined to Persuade and Motivate
Skill Management - make clear decisions and give precise and achieveble instructions
Objective Listener to make proper advices and recommendations
Familiarity with other trades professional works and digest information
Commendable Personality that delegation of authorities is respectable
Ability to gather information, coordinate data and standardising procedures effectively