More than a fling
Posted on 28 May 2012 - 06:38pm
Last updated on 28 May 2012 - 09:38pm
Last updated on 28 May 2012 - 09:38pm
BACK when Sven Goran Eriksson thought he was at Notts County for the long haul, he went to inspect an exclusive, high-end property in a village outside Nottingham. As soon as the suave Swede was spotted in the estate agent's car, it is said that every woman in the village had her hair done.
I was reminded of this tale when Pep Guardiola acknowledged the possibility of "being seduced" sooner rather than later during his sabbatical from Barcelona. On hearing those words, it is a safe bet that every eligible club in football's global village will be having their hair done.
Some will be having their faces lifted and piling on the Botox; others will be having the full 'Pamela Anderson'. As it is, Chelsea seem to be preparing the most elaborate courtship dance, as well they might. After all, Pep is the biggest catch to come on the market since Marilyn Monroe struck out Joe DiMaggio.
He made it 14 trophies in four seasons early on Saturday (Malaysian time) and even by "greed is good" standards, that's stupendous going. Gordon Gekko would be impressed. The Copa del Rey was his fourth this season – one that is considered a relative failure for the two he didn't win – La Liga and the Champions League – are by far the most coveted. Must have been wimping out on lunch or something.
Just to put things in perspective, Alex Ferguson took three years to win his first trophy while Bill Shankly took seven – which is how long Arsene Wenger has gone since troubling the engravers. So, it is no wonder that chairmen everywhere are prepared to sell the family oil well and throw in their daughters to get Guardiola.
But sceptics – and there are a few – question whether he can do it elsewhere. Whether he can turn water into wine? Or, more pertinently, water-carriers into vintners? At Barca, they point out, he was using the very finest grapes – the products of the fabled La Masia academy. And even Alex McLeish would have won something with the likes of Lionel Messi, Andres Iniesta and Xavi Hernandez.
But the weight of silverware – as staggering as it is – does not tell the whole Guardiola story. He may have cornered the precious metal but it was the way he got Barca to play that will be best remembered. Never have we witnessed such a monopoly of possession, such mesmeric beauty in the passing, such delicacy of touch. If ever kicking a bag of wind around was elevated to an art form, this was it.
Glenn Hoddle once said: "I don't pass the ball, I offer it." Barcelona offered it, gift-wrapped, perfectly-weighted and with a card saying: 'This is for you, don't give it away.' Losing possession was a hanging offence in Guardiola's eyes and so, if the opening didn't come, Barca would employ a slide rule to play keep-ball until one did. Not since Pythagoras have we seen such flair at geometry.
Another quibble is that he inherited his team but that, too, is a few important brush strokes short of the full picture. It is true that the Holy Trinity were on the books but under his predecessor Frank Rijkaard they had yet to blossom. Xavi and Iniesta couldn't get into the team while Messi was, dare it be said, wasted on the wing.
Rijkaard's team also boasted Ronaldinho, Samuel Eto'o, Thierry Henry, Deco and Yaya Toure yet in 2008 they came a poor third behind Real Madrid and Villareal. It was Guardiola who changed the ethos, instilled discipline and the highly intense pressing game. No wonder Ronaldinho was having none of it!
The new boss also brought a sea change in thinking. Just when even Wenger was believing that size really did matter, Guardiola turned the theory on its head by making three little guys his key men. In his more egalitarian game, corners were rendered no more important than throw-ins and possession was nine tenths of football law.
But the biggest move the rookie manager made was to switch Messi into the middle where he now plays as a false No.9. There have been deep-lying centre-forwards before but none with the Argentine's genius. It was the best stroke of tactical wizardry since the Trojans got inside their horse.
With Xavi and Iniesta pulling the strings and Messi unplayable, Barca became a phenomenon, everybody's second favourite team and perhaps the greatest club side ever. But it came at a price. "I've lost weight, sleep and hair," admitted the maestro long before calling it a day. Finally he said: "I need a break." Yet to certain curmudgeons it seemed a poor excuse for quitting.
He was even accused him of "shirking" as maintaining supremacy is the one thing rated more highly than merely achieving it. Either that or doing it, Mourinho-style, with another club and another set of players.
When compared to Fergie's longevity, four years is merely baby steps but the MU boss has never been exposed to the forensic scrutiny a Barcelona coach has to endure. Daily sports papers with acres of space to fill demand answers to the most inane questions – what did he have for breakfast? What did Messi have for breakfast?
For the most part, Guardiola kept his temper and his marbles but the pressure told. Only he knows what is going on inside his head and we should respect his decision to step aside. And none other than Johan Cruyff has sprung to his defence: coaching Barca, he said, is "Exhaustion, total exhaustion."
Besides having the most impressive CV in the history of the game, at 41 he is still young, personable, highly intelligent and speaks four languages. What chairman or fan would not want him to run their team?
The scramble for his services is sure to be an unedifying spectacle and wherever he ends up he'll be able to bail out the Spanish banks and solve the Euro crisis with the sums that will be offered. But will he be able to follow what he did at Barcelona?
Seeing him on the training ground is not going make players who can't trap a bag of cement discover Velcro on their boots; journeyman Jon Obi Mikel won't become Xavi overnight , nor will Malouda morph into Messi. John Terry will never be as comfortable on the ball as he was in a disabled parking bay.
Short of a midnight raid on La Masia, Guardiola will not have the raw materials to work with. It will take time, time someone like Roman Abramovich doesn't have. Even if he were to improve a team and win a pot or two, it may well seem like an anti-climax after his first dabble in the dugout. Forever they will be compared to Barcelona, his Barca. There he ticked all the boxes as a Catalan who went from ballboy to legend. We wish him well as he seeks a new challenge and he may enjoy the odd fling.
But he's not a football philanderer like Sven, nor a 'bigamist' like Mourinho and you suspect he will never be able to follow the Nou Camp. To him Barcelona will always be much more than a club – more like the love of his life and he knows it. He just wanted a change and we have to accept that. As one tribute put it: "Pep, thank you for returning football to its essence." No fan can ask for more.
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