Small Perjuangan

I am not oblivious to the happenings around the country this past week. In fact one of my colleagues jokingly surprised by my being in the office instead of following 'other colleagues' donning the baju melayu and make the presence at the certain PWTC. I told him back 'half jokingly', "What in the world made you think I would do that?" His reply was that I seemed to him to be opinionated on certain things that normally would belong to such groupings. Well, he is entitled to his opinion, and I took that as a compliment. No, I can't bring myself to it. I admitted I came from the maternal lineage full of hardcore party workers. My mother is still in despair that I chose to take sides in 1998 (Heck, she still keep a b&w photo (you know the A7 one with that flower jagged edge) of her and that one successful women minister during an opening of a beau salon - no kidding). My grandmother was a mid ranking bigshot that held the election ports of PJ back in perikatan days (cap kapal layar). I was a branch youth secretary! Yes that's a confession. Somehow I began to feel uneasy whenever this group met to discuss politics. Back stabbing, surat layang, were the norms even for a small branch. A branch leader has the 'authority' to decide who gets a spot for low cost house or a lot of medan selera shop. Heck he got to keep few for himself and sell them off later for profit (I was offered but declined). I couldn't subscribe to that. The higher you go the more 'tainted' you would be. At division level you'd be offered a token share of, not one but some, shadow companies that always gets money rolling development projects - (remember that one fellow who 'hold' a million cash purportedly for election contribution in the area where now the MRR2 fiasco is taking place) And of course as rite of passage to take on second wife. woah that's enticing enough! As faith does it, all this disillusionments, smokes and chalices made my choice seemed clearer when the time came. I made small contribution for the setup of a local BA division (at a price that cost my association with local communities and some so called friends and relatives)