Crashed and Burnt
Finally, the dreaded things happened to my trusted (not anymore!) nx6110 laptop. Exactly 11:35am, July 10th an abnormal behavior was detected while trying to open a Word document. It took longer than long for that simple PQP (Project Quality Plan updates I've been working on for the last week or so) pages to load from C: - I thought nothing out of it and leave the laptop as it is because I had to attend another appointment outside. On my way out, someone upstairs growled because a print job was sent to her PhotoSmart printer, and my unfinished draft PQP was neatly printed on a glossy photo quality paper!
I didn't think much of it later on but only upon my resumption of works in the evening, there was this feeling of detachment with my laptop. And as I was about to logoff for the day, the laptop sort of giving me a glimpse of final goodbye - a faint transparent warning window without any text, just a symbol of red X and OK box. After the last click of the mouse, it suddenly dawn on me that I won't be seeing the similar feature on the screen again forever. True enough, as I restarted the, the Local User Profiles was no longer valid or corrupted and with it went along my access to most of my personal files (and the PQP too).
As I write these sentences, I am reminiscing the time when me and my laptop started together. To the 'system7' Local User Profile config file, wherever you are - Thank You.
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Who am I? And how, I wonder will, this story end? My life…it isn’t easy to explain. I am nothing special, that I am sure of. I am a common girl with common thoughts.
Soon my name will be forgotten, but I have loved and still love another will all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough. Some will say it’s a love story, some will say it’s not, but no matter how people choose to see it in the end, it won’t change the fact that it invloves a great deal of my life and the path I have chosen to follow. I have/had obstacles, a lot actually, but I have no regrets about my path and places it has taken me; enough caleidoscope of ups and down to fill a circus tent about other things, maybe…but the path I have chosen now has always been the right one for me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way…inspite of everything, this choice gives me the most important man in my life other than my kids and shows and teaches me how to love in a way I never know possible. Taking my path is not easy, but this what makes me right now, this is what makes my love and faith stronger..everyday. This is what makes me alive and taking away this dream from me will mean end.
I wonder now, will it happen today? I don’t know, for I never know beforehand and deep down myself, I will always believe and wait, it doesn’t really matter whether today, tomorrow. It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee. You may call me a dreamer, a fool , or any other thing. I believe that anything is possible. I realize the odds are against me but this wont keep from believing and hoping. This is the thing I have learned in my life, and that leaves me the belief that miracles, no matter how unbelievable and inexplicable, are real and can occur without regard to the natural order of things. So once again, I am waiting, trying to read memories saved in my first mobile phone I could get from my first salary while working in this foreign land, so that he can hear it, in the hope that the miracle that has come to dominate my life will prevail. And maybe, just maybe, it will. Where ever you are right now, always remember that I love you….I will always do forever and hereafter.
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